Poetry excerpt from Demonic Lulladies.
© S.B. “LullaDIEs”
I shouldn’t be able to see it,
But here the monster stands.
The bedroom is fully lit,
Yet I could touch the beast’s hand.
I sit as still as a fresh corpse,
Staring at the deformed creature,
Big, small, big… With breath he morphs,
And I can see all the grizzly features.
Coal black skin as hard as cast iron,
Razor teeth with no lips to hide behind.
Sharpened horns befitting the nocturn,
And black eyes that devoured the sunshine.
His arms are long and muscular,
With dark hairs sprouting from them,
Fingers with claws jagged and irregular,
Lightly across the floor they skim.
His body’s hunched over,
Knees are only half bent,
His head’s as wide as his shoulders,
Instead of a heart, there’s a huge dent.
There’s an odor following him as well,
Not unlike burning chemicals…
It’s an unholy, ghastly smell,
Worn by the wicked and tyrannical.
I pull the blankets tighter,
Hoping he doesn’t see me,
I hear his evil laughter,
“What’s the matter, girlie?”
His voice is deeper than a grave,
And shakes my mind with his power.
His departure is all I crave,
He’s already been there for hours.
And that’s just tonight,
I see him every day.
In the darkness or the light,
He never goes away.
I gather all my courage and ask,
“Why are you here?”
He stares with a grin that’s vast,
“Why do you care?”
The bedroom door bursts open,
“STOP TALKIMG TO YOURSELF!”
Mom yells, she has trouble copin’,
“THIS INSTANT! OR ELSE!”
The door slams, closing the entry.
She didn’t even see the monster…
That’s why she’s always angry,
Dad just says I’ve gone bonkers.
They took me to a psychiatrist,
Who calls him an imaginary friend.
Recommended a child specialist,
And an end to my parents torment.
But none of it’s worked so far,
And there’s been talk of a divorce.
Mom wants to send me away afar,
Dad argues the cost ’til he’s hoarse.
I look back at the hellish beast,
He shakes his head at my confusion,
“Ignore me, child, and go to sleep.”
My compliance comes unspoken.
Not too long after, I paid him no mind.
It’s not like he really responded.
Talk of divorce soon fell behind,
But he still stayed; I was confounded.
This thing watched me for a decade,
Standing guard at the end of my bed.
It didn’t flinch through my heartaches,
And he didn’t care about my dreads.
He stood, and he stared, and waited,
Ever so patiently.
His inevitable purpose was fated,
The time would come eventually.
And eventually did come,
Sooner than I could have known.
Remembering makes me numb,
Penetrates me to the bone.
Through the years he gathered strength,
Feeding on my unknown fear.
I don’t want to explain it in length,
In my mind, the image is too clear.
The lights went off, no one was home,
He grabbed my leg and I felt his grip,
Quickly on my back I was thrown,
The details I’m going to skip.
It was the first time he ever engaged me,
The monster was so vicious and violent…
And the things he whispered when I screamed,
My hair stands on end at the thought of it.
“Hush now sweetie, your ready now,
It’s time to accept your fate.
To my will you are forever bound,
It’s time to learn to hate.
I’m sorry dear, I can’t protect you anymore.
It’s time to recognize reality.
My sweet child whom I adore,
Truly such a frailty.
I do this with love. I do it with rage.
I must complete your awakening.
I do this to release you from your cage,
And to confirm you can never forsake me.
Shh… Just breath, we’re nowhere near done,
Embrace the pain I gift to you,
Just think, one day you’ll think this is fun,
You’ll thank me when I’m through.”
Then there was talk about Hell,
And it’s Kingdom coming to Earth.
Something about being a shell,
And my fate, destined at birth.
It was so hard to pay attention,
As he tried to tear me in two.
My wails emitted their reverberation,
At one point I even puked.
It didn’t end when he finished,
He clawed me until I thanked him.
Then he taunted me like a menace,
Until the world around went dim.
My mom came in to me half dead,
Naked, broken, bruised, and unconscious.
The attack filled my mother with dread,
Her fussing more than obnoxious.
I woke up later in a hospital bed,
Hooked up to beeping machines.
“She’s awake.” somebody said,
Another doctor; another enemy.
They want to know who’s responsible,
I reply, “the monster in my head.”
“Come on now, be reasonable,”
I yell back, “It’s just like I said!”
I glance over and see my mother in tears,
Dad cuddles her for comfort through the glass,
I watch as he smooths away her fears,
My eyes I advert, knowing it wouldn’t last.
“I didn’t see the attacker.” I mutter,
The doctor nods and leaves.
“Should I let them in?” he stutters.
I nod my head in defeat.
No more fighting due to me,
I’ll be quiet; I won’t resist.
The guilt is worse to some degree,
At least my parents already split.
It’ll be back for more tonight.
Nobody has ever believed me,
And worse than the rape and fight?
It’s standing in the corner; smiling.