Poetry excerpt from Demonic Lulladies
© S.B. “LullaDIEs”
Filling the cracked bathtub,
The falling waters voice,
Of peaceful death without blood,
Calls to me without choice.
I strip off every piece of clothing,
My mind on what awaits on the other side.
Filled to the brim with self loathing,
An end is what I hope to find.
When nude I sit on the tubs edge,
Running my nervously eager fingers,
As if trying to rinse away my dread,
In the rising enchanted waters.
I find myself wondering how long it will take,
For deaths angels to come for me.
I fight the fear that later I’ll wake,
Reminding myself to do this calmly.
When the water reaches the rim,
I turn the handle; taking a breath.
Recognizing this as my cue to swim,
As my time to face death.
Water sloshes over the edge,
As I turn to lay down face first.
Slowly I release my grip on the ledge,
I won’t miss my ride in the hearse.
After three deep breaths I plunge.
Straight into the icy waters I go.
I’m determined my life to expunge,
To end this demented show.
Everything is silent at first,
I have no trouble surviving underwater,
but slowly my air starts to disburse,
And I feel myself struggling harder.
I remind myself of the pains,
This world gives me day after day,
My soul needs cleansed of it’s stains,
Reassuring myself this is the only way.
So I give in, open my lungs, and inhale,
Filling myself with water, choking me.
At killing myself I refuse to fail,
I can’t wait anymore to die eventually.
I feel my body twist, head rise,
Still I live so I take another breath.
Fighting myself fighting my demise,
But how much fight could I have left?
Another breath, and then one more,
I fall into a world of darkness,
Swirling in circles; no ceiling or floor.
Finally free of the cruel and heartless.
I’m dying… I’m dying… I’m dying…
Im rising… I’m flying… I’m soaring…
Finally, an end to my crying,
And life resembling a horror story.
I float above this miserable world.
Looking down I see my tormented self,
Laying in the bathtub I just battled,
A defeated and dead mademoiselle.
I know I will never feel sad again,
That now I can truly forget the crimes.
Gone is the disappointment and pain,
And the need for a reason or rhyme.
It’s like the weight is completely gone,
I’m left feeling victorious,
I know now I did nothing wrong,
I was always right. Death is glorious.